Wedding Day Fears.

I am the girl who tosses and turns all night 4 months away from her wedding thinking of all of the little details. I wake up in the middle of the night and have to reach for my laptop to stalk Style Me Pretty and Once Wed's photo galleries trying to find the exact detail I'm imagining. I am the girl whose fiance is saying "Can you come to bed without your boyfriend just for tonight?" or "Are you going to be on that much longer? I can't sleep with that click, click, click..!!" Yes, Mr. does lovingly refer to my laptop as my boyfriend.. So what? 

Even though I have O.C.D. (Yes, I do cut out the D for disorder.. I'm obsessive and compulsive but it's not a disorder y'all!) and the small details not being perfect are a wedding day fear but that isn't my biggest fear! My biggest wedding day fear is having fat arms. Yes, fat arms!!! I am so fearful of getting my wedding pictures back and only being able to focus on my arms looking fat! You know what I'm talking about? You have your arm in a slightly awkward position in a picture and your arm looks HUGE in that picture.. I'm scared it's going to happen in EVERY picture. So much so that I am determined to do Jillian Michaels and tone these guns! 

I have had a couple of wedding day dreams lately. Who am I kidding? I've had MANY wedding day dreams but most of them revolve around us getting ready, or seeing Mr. for the first time, or the officiant telling Mr. he may kiss his bride.. I've only had 2 that were on the not so great end of things...

The first was that my MOH's boyfriend showed up in wranglers and boots and brought their friend, who I'm not fond of, to the wedding. He then kept apologizing for wearing wranglers and boots. In my dream, and in real life, I was frustrated about him bringing the friend knowing how I feel about her. Well obviously, if he did bring her to the wedding, I'd just deal with it and make the most of the day. Not going to let anything small like that ruin my day. I did though tell my MOH and she laughed and said he'd never bring her with him.

The second was very vivid too. Background, my daddy is my everyday hero! He's always been my biggest fan. I've always been a daddy's girl. My dad has the ability to save the day, even on my worst day, he always makes it better. So this kind of rings true to our relationship. In my dream my dad and I were standing outside of the doors after all of the BM's had already walked down the aisle. The DJ started up the wedding march and the doors flew open! As my dad and I started to walk he stepped on my dress, tearing it at the seem in the back.  Well, my daddy thought fast and swooped me up, ran me back to a room, and sewed my dress back together. It looked perfect. He saved the day. Then he dried my tears told me it would be ok & we walked down the aisle. 

I was told recently not to stress the small stuff, not to think negative thoughts about my wedding.  A friend of ours said she stressed so much and that every thing she stressed about ended up coming true. She said she was worried that her wedding would end up looking like her high school prom and in the end it did look like her high school prom. 

I think from day one, Mr. and I have had a pretty good outlook on our wedding day.  We both know that something is bound to go wrong, or not as expected, but that's life.  At the end of the day as long as we're both standing up there committing ourselves to each other in front of family, friends and God, the day has turned out perfectly.