Thursday, June 17, 2010

What is love?

Lately I've seen a lot of women on Facebook posting things along the lines of their love life.  More often than not I see things that are rather dramatic.  It seems that many women put up with a dramatic relationship. Or rather a toxic relationship. 

I feel that love does not mean control. If your significant other wants to know who you're with, what you're doing, what you're eating, and what you just glanced at every second of the day... He's controlling not loving. I've seen so many girlfriends go through this personally. I had a boyfriend that was a bit controlling when I was in high school and when that ended I vowed that I'd never put up with that again. 

I feel that love does not mean perfection. Sorry y'all - Mr.Vid and I are not all sunshine and rainbows or puppy dogs and pickles.. We have honest conversations about our likes and dislikes, our satisfaction and dissatisfaction. We argue - some days more than others. We try not to fight though.  When I say fight I mean say things we'll later regret.  But by all means we're far from perfect.

I feel that love means comfort. I'm comfortable with Mr.Vid. When I'm sad he's the one I turn to. When I'm mad he's the listening ear I want around. When I'm sick he's the one I want to cuddle with.  When I have cramps he's the one I want to rub my back until I fall asleep.  He makes me feel beautiful in sweats, with greasy hair and no make up. He makes me feel comfortable, not uncomfortable. One of my best friends told me recently that her boyfriend of over a year had never seen her in sweats or without make up... SAY WHAT?! Girls if you think he's a keeper get comfortable and then decide.

I feel that love is having comfortable silence. Sometimes I want to sit with Mr.Vid and just not talk. I just want to feel him. I want to just be with him. I don't need conversation to feel comfortable with him.

I feel that love is an action. I don't need Mr.Vid to tell me he loves me. I feel it. He shows it daily by cuddling me after his alarm has gone off before he gets out of bed.  I feel it when I walk in the door after work and he smiles and gets off the couch to give me a hug. I feel it when he's washed and folded a load of my laundry because he knows I've had a busy week. I feel it when he hugs my niece and nephew when he sees them. I feel it when I receive his morning texts that say "Morning Beautiful. I love you." I feel it when he's knows I'm sick so he brings me medicine in bed. I feel it when I walk in the door after a long day and he has dinner made. I feel it daily.. I don't need him to open his mouth to tell me he loves me because I feel it.

Clearly, I don't feel that love should be toxic. I don't feel that love should be stressful or dramatic.  I feel that love should just be.  I think that love for many young woman is distorted.  I feel that many women settle for a man who doesn't love them with actions but rather says the words.  We all deserve the actions. 

What is love to you?!


  1. LOVED that post!

    Couldnt agree more about the comfort part.

  2. Hi! I wanted to thank you for checking out my blog and thank you so much for sharing that comment! I loved reading your posts too!

  3. Your post is SO very true... I think people get lost in these toxic relationships and so brainwashed by it all that you almost don't know anymore. You don't know what real love is, or realize that you are in this dysfunctional mess.

    Love is all those things... it's just BEING in love. I think love is really simple... And when you find it - never let go!