Tuesday, August 17, 2010

When you make your private life public..

I know this is the second post in a day but this is something I feel I need to talk about. When is making your private life available to the public okay? When is bashing your husband or wife on the internet for hundreds of your friends and family to see okay? When is allowing others to judge only ONE side of the man or woman you married okay?
I have seen women, in particular, bashing their husbands all over facebook.  One minute they're getting divorced, the next day they're working it out, and then two days later they're getting divorced.  Now, I'm not going to lie this drama has kept me rather entertained. I can't help but to log in and read the comments these particular people are posting but is it right? Absolutely not! I understand that divorce happens. People change and people grow apart but you got married at 20 years old and you knew the guy for 2 weeks before marrying him. Am I surprised? No. Do I feel sorry for you and your soon to be ex-husband? No. Do I feel sorry for you innocent children? Yes, they're innocent by-standers. Do I feel sorry for your husband because you're online all day everyday talking about how he did you wrong? Yes, because it should remain between you and your husband!! 

Remember those vows you took, the ones that said for BETTER or for WORSE?!?! Well when things get worse you have to keep chugging  along and work on your marriage. Marriage is WORK. It's HARD WORK. You're not going to wake up tomorrow and have everything you ever wanted handed to you on a silver platter. And if you did have everything handed to you how would it be rewarding?! I mean do you really think that you're the only woman in the world who has had struggles in marriage? If you do you need to grow up. Every relationship has struggles whether it be marriage, friendship, or family issues will arise at some point and you have to be adult enough to handle them. I can tell you for sure that getting on facebook and posting status updates about how horrible your spouse is, is not the adult way to handle the issues. 

I understand that there are certainly times when you should get divorced. Maybe he's abusive, or maybe he's committed adultery and you can't move past it. However, I don't understand why you feel the need to tell the entire world what he/she has done to you? I firmly believe that once you have made your decision it's best to talk to your family and friends about your decision and why you made the decision you've made but is it right to tell people you knew 4 years ago in high school? Probably not. Out of respect for your children you should respect your soon to be ex on the internet because at the end of the day two wrongs don't make a right. 

I really don't understand why so many people feel that it's okay to reveal more to the FB/Twitter world than they would their grandmother. Yes, it's a free country and we have the right to say what we want when we want it but what happened to self respect? In my opinion the only person they're really making look bad by publicly bashing their soon to be ex is themselves! 

Have you seen this with your FB friends? What have you done about it? Deleted them? Ignored them? Read all of their posts for entertainment? Sent in a letter to TLC stating that they should have their own TV show because they've got more drama then Jon and Kate?!?!


  1. Don't even get me started on this...
    I got rid of facebook for this very reason.
    I am divorced. But I kept it private - the reasons behind our divorce was for my ex and I to know the details and no one else. That makes sense right?
    I couldn't handle reading other people's drama and it seemed it never ever ended. So I got off of there... some people are never going to change and they CRAVE the attention... that's the only explanation I can give for their childish ways.

  2. It's a shame people don't keep matters like divorce private... It hurts me to see when my own friends rag on their husbands or wives right in front of my fiance and I.. I've never understood putting down someone you love in front of others.

  3. oh gosh yes I have seen this on FB plenty of times and not just with relationships. I have seen it with girls talking crap about a girl they were friends with or are now fighting with...CHILDISH! I cannot believe they would put such personal things on the internet. They are drama queens plain and simple.

  4. It makes me sad when people put their fights out in public.. it's not fair and it's not a way to solve problems in a relationship... even if it's not a marriage!

    I made Chris promise me when we first started dating that we would never be that couple that goes around bashing each other to friends, we would always bring it up with each other and try to resolve it!!